uno is a great card game it’s just filled with smiles and laughter and numbers and colors and everything is right in the world until someone skips you because then it gets real fuckin personal real fuckin fast
HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE PART WHERE PEOPLE START PILING THE PLUS CARDS AND ALL OF SUDDEN YOU’RE THE ONE PICKING UP 18 CARDS FROM THE DECK YEAH THAT’S WHEN MURDER IS PLOTTED
Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women.
For example, I found out Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them.
I want one of those marriages where they’ve been married 20 years but are still crazy in love and still cuddle on the couch and kiss a lot. I want those kind of marriages that make my kids nauseous because how in love their parents are.
do you have 67 protons because you’re a
If anyone else reblogs this I will cry for eternity
WHY DO YOU PEOPLE FIND THIS FUNNY STOP REBLOGGING IT
johanna mason literally said “fuck you” to president snow but he’s like “oh shit katniss done made herself a bird”
puberty is so fucked up girls shed their inner organs and boys get to have orgasms in their sleep
plot twist: people begin to find you attractive in real life and not just on tumblr
Plot twist: People begin to find me attractive on Tumblr
Plot twist: People begin to think I’m attractive.
Plot twist: People begin to think
i was cuddling this guy once n he had his head on my chest n just whispered “what did you just think about?” and i went “netflix” becus i was thinkin about netflix and he just went
"oh. your heart sped up and i… ok"
So I was on itunes…
Is it weird I found this hilarious?
"I read that you [Josh] said that Jen is a very good kisser. And that you gave her 12/10 for kissing."
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, CUNTFLAPS! WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID MY YMCA HAD ONE OF THESE FUCKERS. KIDS LITERALLY HAD TO BE TIMED SO THEY DIDN’T TEAR EACHOTHER’S PRE-PUBESCENT DICKS OFF FIGHTING OVER THIS SHIT. FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES YOU WERE QUEEN BITCH AND EVERYONE ELSE WERE PLASTIC CHAIRLESS SCUM MOTHERDICKER, IT GOT SO UGLY THAT SOMEONE GOT BANNED FOR FIGHING OVER IT SO THEY SNUCK IN DURING RECESS AND STABBED IT TO DEATH. THEY MASSACRED AN INFLATABLE SEATING OBJECT BECAUSE THEY COULD NO LONGER SIT IN IT FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. SHITS FUCKED UP I’M FUCKED UP
People are asking me if I was the one who stabbed it to death
Keep your snoopin heads out of shit you can’t handle